Childhood Gifts

I had the day off today and I decided to spend it Christmas shopping.  I really want to have everything purchased, wrapped, and under the tree by the time my first offspring comes home for his Christmas break.  I would like to be able to spend those last two weeks having fun and doing things with my family, not running around to get last minute presents taken care of.  However, since that’s only one month away, I needed to get started.

As I was walking around the mall checking things off of my list, I was reminded of my infamous Christmas gift from 1983. This particular gift has been referenced in our family each and every Christmas since, often popping up in conversations around birthdays or anniversaries as well.  I’m about to let you in on some classic Reed lore.

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, and gift giving has always been extremely important to me.  While I love to receive gifts, I also love to give gifts to my family.  My parents always fostered this and even before I was earning my own money, they would give me money to go and buy gifts for them and for my grandparents.  When I was a kid, the gifts weren’t necessarily awesome, but I did try to think of things that they would like.  I remember once when I was about eleven years old, my best friend and I were dropped off at the Mission Valley Mall and I had about $20 to do all of my Christmas shopping; I was able to get gifts for my parents and all four of my grandparents at the drug store that was next to May Company.  I was so excited!  That was also the day that I knocked the mannequin over in May Company and broke the escalator and thought that I was going to be sent to jail.  But I digress…

In 1983, when I was eight years old and not old enough to go shopping without a grown-up, my grandma took me to K-Mart to do my Christmas shopping.  While I don’t remember what I got everyone else that year, I DO know what I got for my dad.  As Christmas morning approached, I couldn’t wait for him to open his gift from me.  I was So. Freaking. Excited.  When the moment finally arrived and he opened his present, he smiled, gave me a big hug, and thanked me.  He was now the proud owner of….


The Return of the Jedi Soundtrack.


You know, because he totally wanted that.  Or maybe, just maybe, I wanted that.  Let’s face it, while my pops didn’t mind the movies, there was only one Star Wars junkie in the house and she was eight years old.  I’m sure that, as parents do, he saw right through me.  But my dad is so wonderful; he acted like it was the best present that he’d ever received.  My grandma gets a few props too, for letting me purchase it “for him” and not making me put it back and think harder for something that he’d actually like.

That cassette lived in our brown, VW Vanagon for years.  My dad probably listened to it a time or two; I listened to it all the time.  And by the time the next Christmas rolled around, a new phrase had worked its way into our vocabulary.  Any time that someone in our family gave something to someone else that benefited them (the giver) in some way, it was referred to as a Return of the Jedi Gift.  It’s never said maliciously, and we all really do try to get gifts that the recipient will love.  It’s just our good-natured way of giving each other a hard time.  For example, if Mom bought some chocolate chip ice cream at the store so that everyone could have some, my butter pecan loving dad would tell her that she got us all a real Return of the Jedi gift.  If I went to the store tonight and bought some Peppermint Oreos for “us,” Andy would accuse me of getting a Return of the Jedi gift.  When I surprised Andy with a trip to Vegas for our 5th Anniversary, that was pretty much a Return of the Jedi gift.

It’s good-natured, it’s all in fun, but it’s a constant reminder of my childhood and the parents and grandparents that I was blessed with.

Oh, and the cassette?
Yep.  I’ve still got it.

Easier Said Than Done

finish each day and be done with it.
you have done what you could.
some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can.
tomorrow is a new day.
you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered by your old nonsense.

(emerson)



This is the second magnet that I purchased for the refrigerator, and there are a couple of things that I really do love about it.  

First is the line about forgetting the blunders and absurdities as soon as you can; and secondly, the part about not beginning a new day with your old nonsense.  You see, while I may be good at a few things, I’m absolutely terrible when it comes to extending grace to myself. 

When I fall on my face and make mistakes, whether they are trivial little things or big, life-altering poor decisions, I have an extremely hard time letting them go.  I don’t mean that they should be completely forgotten immediately and that there should be no consequences for our choices, but at some point I need to ask forgiveness or choose a different path (whatever the situation warrants) and then move on.  Living in the perpetual funk of guilt isn’t healthy.  Beating myself up for the same thing over and over and over again isn’t going to help me make better choices the next time.  In fact, it seems that the more I tell my myself what a horrible person I am, the more I start to believe it.  And let's face it, nothing good is going to happen at that point.

  

So I love Emerson’s quote. 

I also love the way The Message puts 1 Peter 5:7:

Live carefree before God; He is most careful with you.

Living carefree before God…how freeing of an idea is that?

So I can cast all of my cares His way, made adjustments to my life as needed, and then begin each new day without the weight of my old nonsense.

It certainly sounds like a better alternative to guilt and regret. 

If only it weren't so hard to put in to action.  

The One About Matthew

I quoted a movie line last November that said, in essence, the hardest part of parenting is letting go.  I can't say definitively that it's the hardest; I’m willing to concede that there could be something more difficult down the road.  However it’s certainly been the hardest part for me so far.

When our firstborn left three years ago, it was rough because everything was new; it was a season of firsts.   First college visits, first applications, first time one of the littles left the roost, first holiday or special occasion without the four of us being together...first everything.  Oh, and it was even the first serious illness!  It never occurred to me when we left him that he'd contract and fight something significant that would entail hospital visits, narcotics, and the eventual medical leave of absence from school.  There were so many firsts and it really did take a while to get used to the new dynamic.

When our younger son left this past August, it was brutal in a whole new way, as everything seemed like a last.  All throughout his senior year, really, I struggled with the lasts.  Last birthday (for me) with any of my children living with me, last Mother's Day with a kid home, last drive to the high school...so many lasts.  While (thankfully) they come home to visit, it's never quite the same once they're adults and have been living on their own.  We truly did close the door to a significant chapter in our lives and it's been rather difficult to navigate at times.  It's been very hard to let go.

I must say though, there’s a certain peace that comes with knowing that your child is in the best possible place.  (This applies to John too, but I'm going to speak of Matthew now.)

When we began looking for a new church home almost four years ago, I had no idea that the Lord was already setting His plan for Matthew's (college) life into motion.  Looking back, there were so many things that worked together and led Matthew to Westmont College.  It really was (and continues to be) an answer to prayer.  I miss Matthew terribly, but I can honestly say that he is at Westmont because Christ used some phenomenal people and opened some pretty big doors to allow him to be there.  He's right where God wants him to be, of that I am certain.  And that is a pretty wonderful thing.

I'm so thankful to be up here for the weekend.  I love him so very much.  

Somebody is tired and not in the mood to have his picture taken!
This was right before we headed in to Multivariable Calculus and my head exploded.

After dinner we had to come back to the hotel and save the world.
You can sleep well tonight; all four diseases have been eradicated.
You're welcome.

There's the face I love.

The tables have turned!  I'm the one who is tired now!

Such a great day; I can't wait to see what tomorrow's adventures bring!
(Spoiler alert....the next few posts might just be more pictures.  Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Done

Thirty days of posting!  I did it!  The posts might not have been of much quality some days, but I am pleased with myself for getting something in writing each day. I had anticipated this being one of my weaker years.  I'm in a very weird place right now.  Introspection has shown that there are really two big factors contributing to my perpetual funk.  

The first is the coming of the empty nest.  In less time than it takes to cook a baby, we'll have no kids living at home.  I realize that this is part of life and that everyone goes through it; I don't think that I have the market cornered on loving and missing your kids.  It's possible that being an only child (of an only child) has shaped me a little differently than many though; I cling to those close to me very tightly because there are so few people close to me.  The value that I place on family time is exorbitant.  It's made for some wonderful traditions and memories over the years, but it is also making the coming changes very hard.  

Similarly, the other big factor is family related as well.  I'm having a rather difficult time with the changing dynamic in my family due to my mom's illness.  I won't get in to all of the details as some are personal, and some will just sound like me whining.  I'll just say that I'm not dealing with it very well and leave it at that.  

Both of those things, as well as a few other issues, have kept me in a continuous state of yuck for a while now.  That's why I've tried so hard this month to take my eyes off of myself and focus on being thankful.  It's harder to wallow in your own junk when you're trying to keep a stream of thanksgiving going.  I think I'm on the right track; I was given a great reminder this morning when our Associate Pastor quoted Philippians 2:3-5.

"Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had."

What perfect words to keep me going!  As I enter this Christmas season with substantially more baggage than I usually carry around, I was admonished to keep my attitude in check.  Instead of thinking about myself and what I'm dealing with and keeping my eyes inward, I am to look at how I can serve others and lift them up!  It's such a freeing thought, really.  Whether it's serving my family, my friends, or complete strangers, I need to be mindful of opportunities that I have to make a difference for other people.  I'm excited! 

My final thought, since it relates to my current situation, is a movie quote that I heard the other night.  Bonnie Hunt says it at the end of Cheaper By The Dozen 2 (I may have been watching it and crying a little bit the other night).  It's a beautiful quote and it helped me put things into perspective, even if for just a little while.  I'll leave you with her time-appropriate words, and wish you a wonderful holiday season and a very Merry Christmas!  Thank you for taking this journey with me.  -xoxo

Letting go is the hardest thing you can do as a parent.  

You have to settle with the past, engage in the present, and believe in the future.  

That vacation at Lake Winnetka reminded Tom and me that 

we're always learning as parents, and that the bond is forever.

Even as the kids grow up and venture out on their own, 

we'll always be with them and they'll always be with us...

because life is a voyage that is homeward bound.

Almost There

You might think that the title of tonight's post is in reference to the coming end of NaBloPoMo.  If so, you'd be partly correct.  Those who are especially perceptive will note that it is also a (frequently quoted in our house) line from the trench run in the greatest movie of all time - Star Wars.

There has been much ballyhoo about the upcoming movies in the last few days.  I've been trying very hard not to read articles that surface on the line (sorry, I recently re-watched The Internship); I don't want to be swayed by public opinion or come across any potential spoilers.  I was quite unhappy when Lucas sold the franchise to Disney and I was only guardedly happy when I heard that they were indeed going to make a new set of movies. 

Don't get me wrong...if done correctly, I'd be giddy as a schoolgirl!  I was just unsure if I could trust anyone to really do it justice.  Let's face it, Episodes I and III weren't great.  Parts of them were downright awful.  Episode III was pretty enjoyable, although it did forever skew my perception of Darth Vader - I wasn't thrilled about that.  But really...are three more really necessary?  From a money making standpoint it totally makes sense.  They want to get yet another generation hooked.  But for this child of the 80's who is a purist, I'm a little worried. 

My initial reaction to J.J. Abrams was positive; I like what he did with the Star Trek reboots.  But I was still very unsure.  It's like I really really wanted to be excited but I was still holding my breath.  And then the trailer came out yesterday. 

Sigh.  Have you seen it? 

My men and I all huddled around my phone and anxiously watched it.  For the first thirty seconds we honestly thought it was a joke, and that someone had spoofed the real thing.  Then for a few seconds it looked like a video game commercial.  Only at the end did we realize that it was indeed the actual trailer.  One of my men was quite charitable and said that "as long as it's better than Phantom Menace it'll be okay."  The rest of us weren't so sure.

My apprehension was further validated by various posts and reviews that we read this morning.  Look up William Shatner's various tweets about the trailer.  They're pretty funny.  And then I saw this:

 

So wrong.  

Not the quote that someone wrote, but the fact that there is a new movie coming out and in only 24 hours people are already not taking it seriously.  My worst fears are already coming true.  Star Wars should never be mocked, and it's quite sad that as a franchise, it's come to this.

I will undoubtedly see the new movies.  I'll probably even brave the crowds on opening night.  

But deep down inside, I'm very worried.  Kind of like how my dad never wants to have another  cherry coke from the soda fountain in the little town where he spent his summers as a kid because he's afraid that it wouldn't live up to the awesomeness of his memory.  That pretty much sums up how I feel about the new movies.  I'll see them.  But I'm very afraid that at the end of the day, when looked at with a critical eye, I'm not going to like them.

And that makes this Star Wars junkie very sad.

Random Thoughts As I Wait For The Pies To Cool

I really do think that I broke my finger last week. 

I just listened to part of a wildly inappropriate song during some movie credits.  No idea what the movie was - we turned it off.

Three pies, a massive apple turnover, fudge, and peppermint bark...probably way too much dessert for six people.

I love my new Christmas lights.  SDG&E will love me since they're the old energy-sucking kind.

My nephew said that if I set up an account, he'll Snapchat with me.  Do I want to?  Could be fun.  I'd love to keep in contact with him more. 

My husband knew most of the answers on Jeopardy this evening.  He should go and win us some money.

I love that I get to have Thanksgiving all over again tomorrow.  I can't wait for the mashed potatoes.  I hope my parents bought enough butter, because it really does take a mountain of butter.

I skipped the gym today, so I should probably to in the morning.

I'm happy that I can hear both of my children upstairs.  Sunday is going to come too soon.

My mister will be traveling next week.  I'm going to be insanely lonely. 

I really should start Christmas shopping.  I could to go to Target right now.  I was tempted a few minutes ago.  Then I thought better of it.  I don't like shopping or people.

Watched two movie trailers yesterday (before watching Divergent) and both movies had high school kids having sex.  Really?  I mean, I know that they do, I'm not stupid.  But do we have to advocate it so boldly and make it seem so nonchalant? 

I miss having acrylic nails.  They really made my ugly hands look better.

College waiting for #2 seems more stressful than it did for #1.  Two of the nine accepted him already; would the rest please follow suit?

I don't want to go back to work on Monday.  Can I just call in sick until January?


Goodnight, my friends.  Happy Thanksgiving!

The Wall

A few weeks ago, folks celebrated the 25^th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.  As I saw photos and video clips on the news, I was reminded of the time that we spent in Berlin; it’s hard to believe that it’s been six years!

History has always been my favorite subject and back when I was in middle school/high school, I fell in love with Europe and the World War II/post-war eras.  I’m not really sure why, it just resonated with me in some weird way.  I’m half German; at least I’m embracing the culture of my people!  (Andy says that’s where I get my stubbornness and my constant need for order and efficiency.)  I’m would never classify myself as “a reader,” but I’ve devoured countless books on the topic.  If it takes place in Europe between the 30’s and the 50’s or 60’s, I’ll read it.  Same with movies.  I was one happy lady when I finally had the opportunity to visit Germany.

My favorite place?  Berlin.  We were only there for a couple of days and nights; I wish we could have stayed for a month!  I was so happy there and I will always cherish the memories of the time spent there with my Mister.  It’s my happy place.  I'm not kidding about that - ask my masseuse!  The food, sights, romantic nights, walks in the rain, countless photos…we spent part of the time on our own and part of the time with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law (who is German).  It was absolutely perfect. 

One of the highlights for me was a walking tour that we took of famous historic Nazi/WWII sites.  We spent several hours traipsing around the city visiting all of these incredible sites and buildings that I had spent a lifetime reading about.   History came alive!  We felt the lingering oppressive air in parts of (what used to be) East Berlin.  We touched bullet holes that remain in the walls more than sixty years later.  We saw memorials to those who lost their lives.  We read the texts from a press conference in which a Party official said, "Niemand hat die Absicht, eine Mauer zu errichten!"  (No one has the intention of building a wall!)  But that was clearly a lie.  We saw the Wall.  And although there is no way for us to comprehend the enormity of what that meant to those who lived on the other side, separated from their loved ones, we stood there and soaked it all in; we breathed history and we imagined what it would have been like to be living there in another time.  

So today, as I ponder the recent anniversary of the opening of the borders, I remember those who gave their lives attempting to flee and instigate change, and I’m thankful for those who helped to bring an end to a terrible time in history.  I pray that it can be a reminder of lessons learned and that history won't repeat itself.  I am grateful that I had the opportunity to walk those very streets and I am ever hopeful to one day return for an extended stay. 

In my own very minuscule way, I remember the Wall.  

The Post That Really Isn't A Post

There are days that are happy and wonderful and you have an endless amount of potential blog topics.  Unfortunately, there are also days that are (for no one particular reason) exceedingly difficult and the thought of sitting down and writing makes you want to either pull your hair out or crawl under a blanket and hide.  Perhaps my Mr. is on to something and that's the folly of NaBloPoMo.  Why put so much pressure on oneself for thirty days out of the year when you don't generally blog for the other three hundred and thirty five?  At any rate, once I've committed to doing something I can't really quit.  So in the spirit of thankfulness that I've been working on this month, and in an effort to take the focus off of my negative thoughts, there are five things that I am thankful for right now.

Despite my grumpy attitude towards him earlier,
my husband is out back right now putting up my Christmas lights. 
(They won't go on, but they'll be ready.)

The smell of freshly baked oatmeal cookies
lingers in the house for a very long time.

I got a prime parking spot at Target today
and there were surprisingly few people there
for eleven o'clock on Sunday.

The weekend that we had in Santa Monica.
You saw the pictures of the date day,
a post about the real reason for the trip
will be coming later this week.
Phenomenal trip.

My eldest and his friends are hosting a
pancake party in their apartment tonight.

for some reason, that delights me.  

Sorry for not being witty or thought-provoking this year.  I've been on a weird personal journey lately.

Ten on Wednesday

I'd written a Ten on Tuesday list yesterday, but I didn't get it posted because I was distracted by my soapbox.  I did want to share it though, so here you go - what would have been yesterday's post!  Enjoy!



There are days (or periods of time) when your job is fun and great and wonderful.  Conversely, there are times when your job feels, well, less than magical.  I'm going through one of those slumps.  However, since I am working on this whole Thankfulness thing, I decided to list ten things about my job (even the silly stuff) that make me smile. It seems better to dwell on the fun rather than the junk.

1.  Helping the Littles.  This may come as a shock to you, but I honestly don't like kids.  That being the case, working at an elementary school occasionally seems like an odd choice for me.  But I really do love it when I am able to help a little one get through their day.  Some of them are pretty darned cute. 

2.  Summers and Breaks.  I have a job that gives me a week off at Thanksgiving, two at Christmas, one in February, one in March, and seven weeks during the summer.  It's hard to complain about that!  If I ever leave the school system, that'll be a huge adjustment.

3.  My new A.P.  We got a new Assistant Principal this year, and she is absolutely wonderful.  We sit across from each other so we can make faces at each other and communicate non-verbally when necessary.  Working with her is something that I look forward to every day.

4.  My Parking Space.  Who wouldn't like having their own parking space?  It's pretty rad.

5.  Flexibility/Understanding of Family Issues.  All of the ladies that I work with in the office are moms, so they are very cool when I have to leave suddenly or take time off.  You know, like when your son gets a concussion or punctures a lung, or when another son has to sing at out of town events.  They're pretty understanding and they don't really give me a hard time.  I appreciate that. 

6.  Casual Fridays.  It's amusing how happy I get when I pull out the jeans and t-shirts on Friday mornings. 

7.  Pandora.  This year we're listening to Pandora in the office each day.  It really does make the time pass more quickly; I've never liked working in a quiet office.  Definitely a positive change.

8.  Teachers Who Say Funny Things.  We've got some teachers who often say hysterical things and keep us in stitches.  I love our staff.

9.  Feeling Like I'm Contributing To My Family.  Paying for college is quite a tall order, as many of you know.  I'm thankful that I was provided with an opportunity to contribute, even in my small way.

10.  An Outlet For My Talents.  I'm ridiculously organized and efficient; I love that I have a place to use those skills.  After all, one can only organize one's house so often...at some point there isn't anything left to do and you need to move on.  Now I have a whole office and four other people to work on!  Making things run smoothly makes me very, very happy.



If you are in a position that you're not thrilled with, I would encourage you to start looking for the little things that make you happy.  They may seem small and insignificant, but I'm finding that given time, I am able to focus more on the good than the negative.  It's a daily struggle sometimes, but one that I think is worth tackling.  I don't want to let less than ideal circumstances rob me of  life's joy. 

Some Days

Some days, life is:

Restful

Exhausting

Productive

Too Short

Happy

Stressful

Easy

Hard

Health-Filled

Painful

Encouraging 

Frustrating

Today, at one point or another, my life was all of those things.

But I heard my firstborn laugh; a true, genuine laugh.

And I saw my still-at-home son smile.  A sincere, heartfelt smile.

And those two things make everything else worth it.

I Surrender

Maybe it's a sign of getting older in general, or maybe it's just the place that I've been in for the last couple of years, who knows?  Whatever the reason, I've been trying really hard (this year especially) to not get carried away in all of the Christmas hoopla just yet.  

I've tried to stay focused on November, with the coming holiday being Thanksgiving.

I love Christmas, don't get me wrong.  Christmastime is my absolute favorite time of year and in years past I've immediately thrown myself in to all things Christmas as soon as the jack-o-lanterns were put away.  Something is different now, though.  I don't like how we've become so focused on Christmas that Thanksgiving loses it meaning and the only reason people think about it at all is that it means that you're just hours away from Black Friday.  Heck...some people even call it Grey Thursday.  

Not Thanksgiving, but Grey Thursday!!!

So it isn't easy, both from a retail perspective and from a giddy-that-your-favorite-time-of-year-is-coming perspective, but I've been trying very hard to put Christmas in the back of my mind for a while. 

Things were going along fairly well until this last week.

I saw these laying around the workroom.  Clearly a teacher was busy prepping.

And this.  Granted, it's our Giving Tree and we need to get it out early, but still.
There's now a Christmas tree sitting four feet away from my desk.

And these.  Many lights are up (presumably left from last year), but these were actually turned on.
(Sorry about the poor picture, I may have been driving...)

And then I turned TV on and saw it.  THE commercial. 
The one that I hadn't seen yet, and the one that in my mind signifies that Christmas is truly here.

The thing that finally did it, that put me over the edge? 
My wonderful husband surprised me with a gift this afternoon. 

So I will still celebrate Thanksgiving, wholeheartedly.  I will be thankful.  So very thankful.
I will thoroughly enjoy two days of turkey and stuffing and pie and potato casserole (please, Aunt Lissa!), and I am looking forward to the time spent with family and friends.  Can't wait for my boy to get home!

But I won't fight the arrival of Christmastime anymore.  I'll open my new CD and embrace it.

Bring it on.

Date Night Recap

As I mentioned in a Facebook post this morning, the Mr. and I had time to kill in La Jolla this evening.  

It's been forever since we spent an evening over there, so we were really looking forward to it.  

The night lived up to our expectations; we had a great time.  

Here are some of the particulars...

We ate way too much pizza.  

Like so much that I might not bother weighing in tomorrow. 
But man, it was delicious.

We walked.  And walked.  And walked some more.  Which was great.

He had a beer and I had a truly terrible martini.  At one point, he was trying to convince me to "knock it over."  I suggested that he work up an aghast look and throw it in my face; he thought I wouldn't like being that sticky.  I was bummed that the drink was lousy, but we got some good entertainment out of it.  

We played "Hobo or Engineer?" as people walked by.  Sometimes it's hard to tell.

He suggested that we walk down to the cove.  I'm not a beach gal and it was pitch black so when I said, "Ew.  It smells like Sea World!" he laughed and said, "Yep, we're here!"

We saw the big boob.  Yep.  I said it.  

You know...the water fountain that looks like a giant boob.  Some things never change.

We may have found a nice little bench under a huge tree full of twinkle lights to, um, sit on.

And then, when we were having a cup of coffee, we saw this.

You know, because for some, it's not enough to just study - you have to study with your viking helmet on.

Sigh.
Date nights are the best.

Hello, Old Friend

In an effort to count  both calories and pennies, I have dramatically cut down my Starbucks intake.  Don't get me wrong - it's still pretty much my favorite thing ever; it's just that I'm at a point in my life where I can't partake in the luxury nearly as often.  I used to go daily (yep, certifiable junkie); now I go once a week, sometimes not even that often. Today, since I have the day off, it seemed like the perfect time to get my first Red Cup of the season.  I'm savoring every sip!!!

So in honor of my love of Starbucks and in keeping with Ten on Tuesday, I submit a list of my top 10 drinks at Starbucks.  This time, they are actually in order; not necessarily my "favorite" order, but in order of "frequency."  I'll count down to my most ordered drink.

10.  Drip Coffee, decaf

9.  Tuxedo Mocha, decaf

8.  White Mocha Frappuccino, decaf

7.  Americano, decaf, half & half, sugar in the raw

6.  Vanilla Latte, decaf

5.  Pumpkin Spice Latte, decaf, half of the pumpkin spice

4.  Iced Americano, decaf, with classic syrup

3.  Iced Caramel Macchiato, decaf, nonfat, extra caramel

2.  Caramel Frappuccino, decaf

1.  Latte, decaf, extra hot


Mmmm.
The weather is overcast, I have the day off, and I'm thoroughly enjoying my Red Cup.

My Smelly Husband

I’ve got a pretty good sense of smell…

Certain smells bother me badly.  When I have to help the pukers and the bleeders at work, the visuals aren’t what get to me – it’s the smell.  I can always tell when the milk is going bad long before anyone else in the house, and I once smelled a water leak in our walls before we had any other indication that there was a problem.  It creeps me out to no end to have to enter a public bathroom stall immediately after a stranger.  A few years back we had a rat die inside our walls and we couldn’t do anything but wait it out.  You know…for it to finally decompose enough to stop smelling.  I almost moved out; it was terrible.

Smells can be a wonderful thing too, though.  Thanksgiving dinner cooking.  Christmas tree lots.  Cozy candles burning on a fall or winter evening.  The smell of rain.  Clean babies.  

And my man.

As many of you have experienced in your own lives, there’s nothing quite as exciting as the smell of your new love.  Then, once you’re lucky enough to “borrow” a sweatshirt – you’re in heaven!  You don’t wash it for months!  I think I kept Andy’s (without washing it) for the entire ten months that we dated.  So new; so wonderful.

It’s a pretty cool thing that now, over twenty years later, it still makes my day when my sense of smell reminds me of him.  There are a few days each week that he leaves for work just minutes before I get home from the gym; today I actually turned on to the street as he was driving away.  When I opened the front door, I was bombarded with yummy morning smells.  The aroma of his freshly ground and brewed coffee.  The faint smell of his shower gel in the bathroom.  The lingering smell of his cologne in our bedroom.  

It takes me back to when I was 19 years old and snuggling up to his green Eddie Bauer sweatshirt.
Only now I get the real thing.
Which is even better.

The One About Underwear

Having two sons only one year apart, I have almost always had to engage my brain when doing laundry.  The big things were easy to tell apart; the boys never worse the same size pants and shorts, and for the most part shirt sizes were different as well.  Socks, undies, and undershirts though…they were a different story.  They were always a little tricky.  

The problem only got worse as they grew older.  All three of my people became the same size.  Even our family photographer said this year (while taking our pictures), “Geez, everyone is the same height!”  Now instead of having to determine whether certain items belong to child #1 or child #2, I have to also figure out which things belong to the mister.  I have to look at each t-shirt and remember whose is whose.  Not hard, I just have to pay attention.  I do pretty well most of the time; only occasionally have things ended up the wrong pile.

To combat some of the issues with the aforementioned unmentionables (socks/undies/undershirts), I have for years employed a very practical solution.  I shop very carefully and always make sure that each person has a different brand.  If one has Hanes, one has Jockey, and one has Fruit of the Loom, the undies are easy to tell apart.  The same applies to socks; if they’ve each got their own brand, it doesn’t matter that they’re all the same size.  This has worked for a very long time and I have always been quite pleased with my system.   

Until now.

You see, Andy has pretty much fallen in love with Amazon.  He used to just buy books.  Books are fine.  We all know which books are Andy’s and even if you share books – it isn’t skeevy.  (Actually, he and Matthew have begun to overlap, but that’s no big deal.)  Andy has been asking for and receiving Amazon gift cards for years and it’s been great.  Unfortunately, a while ago they raised their price limit for the free shipping.  While I just choose to order less often (or pay the shipping if I really need something), Andy decided that socks, underwear, and undershirts make great “filler” items if he needs to bump the price up a little bit.  On one hand, it’s nice because it’s saved me some trips to the mall.  However, it also means that he’s been ordering with impunity and he’s completely ruined my system.  He has now ended up with unmentionables that are the exact same brand and size as the boys.  I’m limping along okay with just Andy and child #2 here, but we’re going to run into some real problems when child #1 comes home for breaks.

The only real solution:  Andy’s initials or some other indicative mark are going inside his newly purchased items.  It seems goofy, but it’s the only way to ensure that everyone keeps their unmentionables to themselves.  Because really that’s what everyone wants.  

Thanks, Amazon.  You and my husband have successfully managed to unravel a perfectly good, decade-long system.  

Pbbtthht.