Childhood Gifts

I had the day off today and I decided to spend it Christmas shopping.  I really want to have everything purchased, wrapped, and under the tree by the time my first offspring comes home for his Christmas break.  I would like to be able to spend those last two weeks having fun and doing things with my family, not running around to get last minute presents taken care of.  However, since that’s only one month away, I needed to get started.

As I was walking around the mall checking things off of my list, I was reminded of my infamous Christmas gift from 1983. This particular gift has been referenced in our family each and every Christmas since, often popping up in conversations around birthdays or anniversaries as well.  I’m about to let you in on some classic Reed lore.

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, and gift giving has always been extremely important to me.  While I love to receive gifts, I also love to give gifts to my family.  My parents always fostered this and even before I was earning my own money, they would give me money to go and buy gifts for them and for my grandparents.  When I was a kid, the gifts weren’t necessarily awesome, but I did try to think of things that they would like.  I remember once when I was about eleven years old, my best friend and I were dropped off at the Mission Valley Mall and I had about $20 to do all of my Christmas shopping; I was able to get gifts for my parents and all four of my grandparents at the drug store that was next to May Company.  I was so excited!  That was also the day that I knocked the mannequin over in May Company and broke the escalator and thought that I was going to be sent to jail.  But I digress…

In 1983, when I was eight years old and not old enough to go shopping without a grown-up, my grandma took me to K-Mart to do my Christmas shopping.  While I don’t remember what I got everyone else that year, I DO know what I got for my dad.  As Christmas morning approached, I couldn’t wait for him to open his gift from me.  I was So. Freaking. Excited.  When the moment finally arrived and he opened his present, he smiled, gave me a big hug, and thanked me.  He was now the proud owner of….


The Return of the Jedi Soundtrack.


You know, because he totally wanted that.  Or maybe, just maybe, I wanted that.  Let’s face it, while my pops didn’t mind the movies, there was only one Star Wars junkie in the house and she was eight years old.  I’m sure that, as parents do, he saw right through me.  But my dad is so wonderful; he acted like it was the best present that he’d ever received.  My grandma gets a few props too, for letting me purchase it “for him” and not making me put it back and think harder for something that he’d actually like.

That cassette lived in our brown, VW Vanagon for years.  My dad probably listened to it a time or two; I listened to it all the time.  And by the time the next Christmas rolled around, a new phrase had worked its way into our vocabulary.  Any time that someone in our family gave something to someone else that benefited them (the giver) in some way, it was referred to as a Return of the Jedi Gift.  It’s never said maliciously, and we all really do try to get gifts that the recipient will love.  It’s just our good-natured way of giving each other a hard time.  For example, if Mom bought some chocolate chip ice cream at the store so that everyone could have some, my butter pecan loving dad would tell her that she got us all a real Return of the Jedi gift.  If I went to the store tonight and bought some Peppermint Oreos for “us,” Andy would accuse me of getting a Return of the Jedi gift.  When I surprised Andy with a trip to Vegas for our 5th Anniversary, that was pretty much a Return of the Jedi gift.

It’s good-natured, it’s all in fun, but it’s a constant reminder of my childhood and the parents and grandparents that I was blessed with.

Oh, and the cassette?
Yep.  I’ve still got it.

The One About John

I know I've kind of cheated with pictures these last few days.  Oh well, life is like that sometimes.  I'll start writing again tomorrow.  I just couldn't write posts about our weekend with Matthew without giving John a few minutes too...

Like I said last night, I am so thankful that the boys chose schools that are reasonable close to each other.  They're only about 100 miles apart, so whenever we are visiting one, we generally see the other as well.  As you know, we spent the weekend with Matthew, so today we drove up to see John.

John.

My firstborn.

One who gives the best hugs ever.

A guy who would do anything for you.  

Someone who never lets life's curve balls get him down.

The one who just found out that he made the Dean's List last quarter.

And a guy who never turns down the Never Ending Pasta Bowl.

The first one to capture my heart completely nearly twenty years ago; one who will have it forever.  

My John.

Who doesn't love loading up on carbs at 11:00am?

Love.

My Day in Pictures

We started the day at our favorite
coffee joint in Carpenteria.

The next stop was Crushcakes.
It was tasty, but I decided that my
Limoncello Cupcakes are just as good.

The water was so blue today.

Top Gun Part 2?  :-)

For some reason, I love train tracks.

We stumbled across a store closing sale at Haggen's.
Hooray for 50% off!

After our morning activities, we picked up the kid.
He'd suggested coming back to the hotel to play games,
but he promptly settled in for a nap instead.
I guess college wears him out!

Once he woke up, it was time to eat.
Taking a page of out his brother's playbook,
he chose to go to Outback.

After dinner, we came back to the hotel, saved the world again,
(dang, we're good at that game), and then took one
last picture before returning him to school.

We walked over eight miles today.
Now I'm curled up with a drink in my hand and a football game on TV.  

It's been a great two days up here visiting Matthew; tomorrow we get to see John.  

I'm so thankful that they ended up at schools that are reasonably close together. 

Yay for long weekends, visits with your kids, and time away with your hubby!

   

The One About Matthew

I quoted a movie line last November that said, in essence, the hardest part of parenting is letting go.  I can't say definitively that it's the hardest; I’m willing to concede that there could be something more difficult down the road.  However it’s certainly been the hardest part for me so far.

When our firstborn left three years ago, it was rough because everything was new; it was a season of firsts.   First college visits, first applications, first time one of the littles left the roost, first holiday or special occasion without the four of us being together...first everything.  Oh, and it was even the first serious illness!  It never occurred to me when we left him that he'd contract and fight something significant that would entail hospital visits, narcotics, and the eventual medical leave of absence from school.  There were so many firsts and it really did take a while to get used to the new dynamic.

When our younger son left this past August, it was brutal in a whole new way, as everything seemed like a last.  All throughout his senior year, really, I struggled with the lasts.  Last birthday (for me) with any of my children living with me, last Mother's Day with a kid home, last drive to the high school...so many lasts.  While (thankfully) they come home to visit, it's never quite the same once they're adults and have been living on their own.  We truly did close the door to a significant chapter in our lives and it's been rather difficult to navigate at times.  It's been very hard to let go.

I must say though, there’s a certain peace that comes with knowing that your child is in the best possible place.  (This applies to John too, but I'm going to speak of Matthew now.)

When we began looking for a new church home almost four years ago, I had no idea that the Lord was already setting His plan for Matthew's (college) life into motion.  Looking back, there were so many things that worked together and led Matthew to Westmont College.  It really was (and continues to be) an answer to prayer.  I miss Matthew terribly, but I can honestly say that he is at Westmont because Christ used some phenomenal people and opened some pretty big doors to allow him to be there.  He's right where God wants him to be, of that I am certain.  And that is a pretty wonderful thing.

I'm so thankful to be up here for the weekend.  I love him so very much.  

Somebody is tired and not in the mood to have his picture taken!
This was right before we headed in to Multivariable Calculus and my head exploded.

After dinner we had to come back to the hotel and save the world.
You can sleep well tonight; all four diseases have been eradicated.
You're welcome.

There's the face I love.

The tables have turned!  I'm the one who is tired now!

Such a great day; I can't wait to see what tomorrow's adventures bring!
(Spoiler alert....the next few posts might just be more pictures.  Don't say I didn't warn you.)

Done

Thirty days of posting!  I did it!  The posts might not have been of much quality some days, but I am pleased with myself for getting something in writing each day. I had anticipated this being one of my weaker years.  I'm in a very weird place right now.  Introspection has shown that there are really two big factors contributing to my perpetual funk.  

The first is the coming of the empty nest.  In less time than it takes to cook a baby, we'll have no kids living at home.  I realize that this is part of life and that everyone goes through it; I don't think that I have the market cornered on loving and missing your kids.  It's possible that being an only child (of an only child) has shaped me a little differently than many though; I cling to those close to me very tightly because there are so few people close to me.  The value that I place on family time is exorbitant.  It's made for some wonderful traditions and memories over the years, but it is also making the coming changes very hard.  

Similarly, the other big factor is family related as well.  I'm having a rather difficult time with the changing dynamic in my family due to my mom's illness.  I won't get in to all of the details as some are personal, and some will just sound like me whining.  I'll just say that I'm not dealing with it very well and leave it at that.  

Both of those things, as well as a few other issues, have kept me in a continuous state of yuck for a while now.  That's why I've tried so hard this month to take my eyes off of myself and focus on being thankful.  It's harder to wallow in your own junk when you're trying to keep a stream of thanksgiving going.  I think I'm on the right track; I was given a great reminder this morning when our Associate Pastor quoted Philippians 2:3-5.

"Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.  Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had."

What perfect words to keep me going!  As I enter this Christmas season with substantially more baggage than I usually carry around, I was admonished to keep my attitude in check.  Instead of thinking about myself and what I'm dealing with and keeping my eyes inward, I am to look at how I can serve others and lift them up!  It's such a freeing thought, really.  Whether it's serving my family, my friends, or complete strangers, I need to be mindful of opportunities that I have to make a difference for other people.  I'm excited! 

My final thought, since it relates to my current situation, is a movie quote that I heard the other night.  Bonnie Hunt says it at the end of Cheaper By The Dozen 2 (I may have been watching it and crying a little bit the other night).  It's a beautiful quote and it helped me put things into perspective, even if for just a little while.  I'll leave you with her time-appropriate words, and wish you a wonderful holiday season and a very Merry Christmas!  Thank you for taking this journey with me.  -xoxo

Letting go is the hardest thing you can do as a parent.  

You have to settle with the past, engage in the present, and believe in the future.  

That vacation at Lake Winnetka reminded Tom and me that 

we're always learning as parents, and that the bond is forever.

Even as the kids grow up and venture out on their own, 

we'll always be with them and they'll always be with us...

because life is a voyage that is homeward bound.

The Making Of A Singer

Today I'm taking you all the way back to last Friday. 

You may recall that I posted pics of the Mr. and I in Santa Monica.  Well, the reason that we were in Santa Monica with multiple days to kill is that kid #2 was selected to and participating in the SCVA Men's Honor Choir.  He had two days of rehearsals (over 9 hours each day!) and then a concert on Saturday evening.  

Before I post a couple of pictures from the event,
I thought I'd share just a few memories from his musical journey.  

One of his earlier musicals.
He was very concerned with the hole in his sock,
but he recovered in time for his solo.

My sweet, enthusiastic angel.
Had to include a picture of Joseph; my eldest was quite the performer too!

Not quite as rambunctious, but still doing all of the motions!

Trying his hand at acting - the first time in a dramatic role!
He was the nerdy professor in this particular play.

Helping to lead worship at VBS.

Debut as a high school singer - a member of the Men's Ensemble.

His first season with the Chamber Choir.

The ever-faithful fan club.

Swiped this one from someone's FB page!
Matthew and six of his choir buddies - each of them made
one of the SCVA Honor Choirs!

Words cannot express how happy I am that Matthew has pursued singing.  It makes my heart so very happy and so incredibly proud.  He has a beautiful voice and I love it when I am able to pick him out in a song.  For SCVA, he was in the Men's Choir (they also have a Women's Choir and a Mixed Choir); we couldn't have been more thrilled.  There's just something about a good, quality men's choir.  As I watched him sing and listened to the beauty that those young men produced, I was literally moved to tears. 

One final check before it was time to head to the concert.

My illegal picture!
You weren't supposed to take pictures, but my silly attempt
yielded this funny result.  You can actually see his face twice -
once with his eyes opened, and once with them closed.
I'm looking forward to the arrival of the professional photos.

Buds.
These three were all in the Men's Choir.

I look old and horrible and show every bit of my lack of make-up.
But I love my boy. 
And I'm now shorter than he is.

Keep singing, Matthew.
Always keep singing.

Every day, for the rest of your life -
whether you're in a concert hall or your living room.
Make music in some way every single day.

It will help you express joy in the good times,
and it will bring you comfort and peace through the rough times.

Don't ever stop.
Ever.

I love you.

The Good Stuff

Thankful indeed. 

The Last List

For the final Ten on Tuesday, and since I’ll officially be able to turn on my Christmas lights in less than forty-eight hours, I thought I’d share ten of my favorite holiday traditions.   

1.  The Bowl Schedule.  I mentioned this in my football post a few weeks back, but the Bowl Schedule going up always means that the holidays really are here.  I love it!

2.  Nachos.  Nachos are pretty much my favorite thing ever; I’d eat them every day if possible.  Knowing that I can’t, the Christmas break is always especially exciting for me as that is the one time of year that I buy the big can of Que Bueno from Costco.  We eat lots of nachos over the break!

3.  The Way That We Unwrap Gifts.  We’ve never been one of those “everyone tear into your gifts” type of family.  Gift opening takes hours as the six of us (my parents come over) take turns, each opening one gift at a time.  After a sufficient amount of oohing and ahhing, the next person may begin.  I love it.

4.  My Santa Rule.  Obviously when the kids were little, Santa couldn’t come until they were fast asleep.  He’s still like that.  Santa can’t come, therefore the stockings can’t be filled, until they’re in bed.  I love being the last one up, putting the finishing touches on everything.

5.  My Christmas Tree.  I love, love, love my Christmas tree; it makes me so happy!

6.  Shopping With My Dad.  Every year, for as long as I can remember, my dad and I have a shopping date.  He takes me to dinner, and then we go shopping for my mom.  I look forward to it every year.

7.  Christmas Eve Breakfast.  Ever since the boys were babies, we all get up super early (6am…that’s early for holiday time) and go to breakfast.  Since December 24^th is actually my favorite day of the year, it’s the perfect way for me to start the day.

8.  Peanut Butter Balls.  I only make them in December and I don’t give out the recipe; a true family favorite.  They will be loaded in both the fridge and the freezer the day that John gets home for Christmas break.

9.  Christmas Movies.  There are seven that I must watch every year; there are more that I watch every couple of years.  Can’t wait.

10.  Stille Nacht by Mannheim Steamroller.  It’s my ultimate, favorite Christmas song.  If I hear it coming on the radio, I immediately turn it off; I avoid it for the entire season.  Then, when everything is done and everyone is in bed on Christmas Eve, at the end of my favorite day, I get ready for bed, crawl in, turn off the lights, turn on the song, and close my eyes.  I let the beauty of the music wash over me.  It’s the only one of my traditions that is truly, solely for me.  It’s my moment of perfect peace.