Saturday, August 9, 2008


To the gentleman in the light brown shirt who was standing in the Art History section of Borders at approximately 8pm last night...

Dear Sir,

Friday evenings are wonderful, are they not? It is the perfect time to head on over to your local Borders and browse; possibly even enjoy a cup of coffee or some live entertainment. I must ask, however, that next time you are there, you refrain from passing gas.

Imagine my surprise when, as I sat there quietly reading my book, I heard a loud toot coming from my left. Clearly it was you, there was no one else standing there. I actually found it amusing; I mean everyone experiences flatulence from time to time. I assumed at that point that it was an accident and that it would not be repeated. How wrong I was!

While once could be passed off (no pun intended) as an accidental slip, after you broke wind the second time I was not inwardly laughing anymore. Really, sir, there's a restroom just a short walk away. Take the walk.

I was thoroughly disgusted by the time you backfired the third time. Mercifully, it was time for me to leave so I am not aware if you dropped a fourth, or even worse, a fifth stink bomb.

Please, sir, next time you're planning on spending evening at Borders, for the enjoyment of others, secure your rear. We'd all greatly appreciate it.

Missy Shell


Crayl said...

Nice and klassy, with a K, because that's how klassy it is.


Red Riding Hood said...

Ha!! I think I might have asked him if he was ok. I mean goodness there must be some sort of explaination. Did he have his ipod on and he didn't know how loud he was being, maybe he thought they were silent, or did he really just not care? Wow.

Sooz said...

Oh that's too funny. Was this gentleman older? As in maybe he couldn't hear it himself?