Livin' On A Prayer

My sister in law shared this with me the other day.  It's not new, so perhaps you've seen it.  

It's fantastic, really.  My initial reaction is that I wish that someday I would have the nerve to do something like this.  I mean, he's having SO much fun. There are any number of songs that immediately come to mind as good options:  You Give Love A Bad Name, Don't Stop Believing, Hit Me With Your Best Shot, We Built This City... the list goes on for days.  Pretty much anything from the Rock of Ages soundtrack would do.

My sister in law suggested that perhaps it wasn't a conscious choice but rather that he was just overcome with the magnitude of his love for the song.  That could be.  Either way, so much fun. 

So with this bit of Internet joy and a smile on my face, I declare that since today is the 15th of November, I am indeed...halfway there.  

Enjoy.

Say My Name

While I'm going to forever insist that the following story comes as a result of the concussion, I fear that in reality a bit of my blonde-ness reared it's ugly head.

Matthew's chemistry teacher for this trimester was my high school chemistry teacher. He was also my swim coach for about three days; it was too cold..I gave up. Since my friends were on the team though, I was a regular fixture at the pool and at all of the meets. Anyhow, Mr. B. taught me, he taught John during his freshman year and now he's teaching Matthew. He still remembers me and today he said to Matthew, "If you ever want to hear some great stories about your Mom when she was a girl, just let me know!" Oh dear.

All I can really do to get back at him is to show Matthew pictures of Jeff (Mr. B) from my high school yearbooks. When we arrived home from school, I dug them out and showed Matthew all of the pictures that I could find; he laughed appropriately and then went inside.

As I was flipping through the pages, remembering old faces, I looked myself up in the index. You know, to see which pages I was on. Oddly, I didn't see my name on the list. "Wait. That can't be right, I must have missed myself." I looked again; no luck. "Sheesh, I know that I'm in here. Why the heck don't they have me listed? I'd better slow down and look one more time."

"...Clark..."

"...Clements..."

"...Coast..."

"...Cox..."

"What the..? Oh...yeah...right. My last name wasn't Coffman back then."

Thanksgiving Fun

Today was great; I hope that you enjoyed your Thanksgiving as much as we enjoyed ours! We had a great meal with my in-laws, popped in on my uncle and his crew, and then topped off the night with a visit to our amazing aunt's house. It was a fabulous day.

If you want to add a few minutes of good ol' fun to your next gathering, you should consider playing "Who, What, When, Where, Why."

This is a fun little party game that was introduced to us by my sister-in-law. Unfortunately she couldn't join us today (she lives in Nova Scotia), but she will definitely be receiving an email detailing all of the hilarity. You write the five "W" words on a piece of paper and then you fill in the first one, "Who." Then you fold it over so that no one can see what you wrote and you pass it to the person on your right. They do the same for "What" and then pass it on. This keeps going until all of the W's are filled in. When you get to the end, you have some funny papers, because no one knows what the person before them wrote.

After lunch, I played with my sister-in-law (not the Canadian one), my niece, my mother-in-law, and two friends. We played quite a few rounds; I had Andy pick out a few to share with you. Remember, "Who, What, When, Where, Why."

Elvis
Started a large eclair bakery on the upper side of Manhattan
On my fifty-second birthday
In the kitchen
In order to placate his disapproving Aunt Edna.

The poor forlorn orphan
Made a stick
On the third Thursday of each month
Where the sky meets the horizon by the old bog
Because he ran out of floss.

A one-legged grasshopper
Had a baby
During the exceedingly boring lecture
In the cookie jar
Because it peed on mom's favorite carpet.

See? Just a goofy little game that anyone can play, young and old alike. The winner of the day came just a bit ago at Aunt Lissa's house. It was written by my mother-in-law, myself, my hubby, my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law. (I should warn you...this is what happens when you let boys play.) It's actually kind of uncanny how this one flows together, given that we didn't know what each other were writing.

My sister's mother's grandson
Ran through the snow in his underwear
After a satisfying bowel movement
In the men's room at Balboa Park
Because the milk man turned out to be his father.

Happy Turkey Day, everyone! Enjoy the left-overs and let Christmastime begin!

Travel Ideas

No, we're not going anywhere; at least not right now. I'm insisting on a grand trip for our 20th, but that's still a couple of years away. What a blog that's going to be! But I digress...

Last night I had the opportunity to participate in a contest where the winner would receive two airline tickets to anywhere in the continental United States. Not that I won; I would have had to have participated to even have a chance to win. It did get me thinking though: Where would I go if I were to win?

I first thought that I would go to Orlando; I've always wanted to go to Disney World. That would be hell on Earth for Andy, though, so I quickly decided against Florida.

Secondly, I thought of Denver. We've got lots of family there and it would be lovely to visit them. I only dismissed this idea because I reasoned that if I won tickets, I'd like it to be a date kind of a trip, not a family kind of a trip.

Hawaii came to mind. I think it'd be nice visit the islands someday. There's just all that sand. And beaches. I hate sand and beaches.

I briefly entertained the idea of going to Washington, but I ruled that out since I hope to live there one day. No need to spend free tickets on a trip up north.

After thinking about for while, probably way too long, I settled on somewhere back east. Boston and New York were the top of the list. Boston would be fun; think of all of the pubs that we could visit! But New York...yeah, that's where I decided I'd go.

In the car this evening, I asked Andy where he'd go if given freebies. (Clearly I've used way too many brain cells on this...) The conversation went like this:


AC: "It would seem like we should maximize the value by going somewhere kind of expensive. So probably New York. Stay in the city, have some fun."

Me: "That's what I came up with too. I really think that would be my choice, but I'm kind of scared of the people there, so I don't know..."

AC: "Are you kidding? You're just as bat-sh*t crazy as they are! You'd fit right in!"


You know, he's right. So it's settled; if we ever win free airline tickets, we'll go to New York.

Check the Lyrics

This evening I found myself looking up chord sheets to various Bon Jovi songs for my son; he's learning to play the guitar and Richie Sambora is pretty much his hero right now. As I was getting ready to print this one out for him, something struck me as a bit odd. I started reading the lyrics and before long Matt and I were both rolling on the floor laughing.

These are the correct words from the song "Summertime" off of the Lost Highway album. Please observe:

Verse 1
These days life goes like this, wake up, check that off some list
Gotta be a little something more than this in the bottom of my coffee cup
I keep a postcard in the back of my mind
Of white sand, sunshine, and you shinin' like a brand new dime
That's keeping me from giving up, feeling like I've had enough

Verse 2
I was a warm breeze with a cool tan,
Life mapped out on the back of my hand
When God was laughing I was making plans,
But he didn't laugh when I found you
If there's a heaven baby you're the proof, You make me...

Chorus:
Feel something like summertime, top down and nothin' but time
Radio's on and you by my side, feels something like summertime
Like that first slow dance and the first long kiss
There ain't nothin' baby better than this
It's like a beach blanket and a bottle of wine, feels something like summertime


It's a catchy song; I like it. It was a lot of fun in concert; in general I'm a fan. Now, please observe the lyrics that some dude posted when he was putting together a lead sheet online. Verse one is off, but generally close. Verse two and the chorus are a hoot!


Verse 1:
These days life goes like this,
Wake up take it off of some list,
Gotta be a little something more than this in the bottom of my coffee cup
I keep up false call in the back of my mind,
White sand, sunshine, and you shining like a brand new diamond
That's keeping me from giving up, thinking that I've had enough

Verse 2:
I was a home beast with a cool tan,
And a half mop out in the back of my hand
When I was laughing I was making plants
But I didn't laughed when I found you
There's a heaven baby all to prove, You make me...

Chorus:
Feels something like summertime, tough down and nothin' but time
Radio is on and you are by my side, feels something like summertime
And first romance and that first blown kiss, bearing nothing better than this
And it's like a beach blanket and a bottle of wine
Feels something like summertime


Thank you, whoever posted that awful attempt at the lyrics. My family sure got a kick out of them!

Nicknames

I've had many nicknames over the years; I don't think any have made me giggle quite so much as one that I just received this week.

There's a boy on John's All Star team that John has never played with before so he really doesn't know our family. All he knows is that for the All Star season, I'm the lady that's his "team mom". For paperwork, certifications, uniforms, jackets, etc. he has to go through me.

To get the proper mental picture, you should know that this 14 year old is about the same size as my husband, if not a bit taller, and he has a visible mustache going.

Every time he calls for my attention, I snicker a bit inside. In the most polite voice that a 14 year old can muster, he kindly calls out...

"Mrs. Team Mom?"

I love it.

Return of the Jedi

Well, it's more like Return of the Blog.
Okay, and the quote that I'm about to share is actually from A New Hope.
But still, you get my drift...

My oldest son, John, is starting high school this fall and he's trying out for the football team. (How it all came about is kind of a neat story, but I'll save that for another day.) Football camp started this week, and the coach had said that Wednesdays would be "light days" to give the muscles a break. So yesterday was Yoga day.

While I'm reasonably certain that no weird, yoga voodoo took place, John thought that the instructor's quiet voice and all of the "breathe in and out" stuff was goofy. This is what he had to say about it on the way home:

"During Yoga today, I wanted to shout out 'Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.' "


I'm glad that he didn't. I'm also glad that he knows his Star Wars so well.

Sniff, Sniff

Last night I was in a hurry to get out the door.

While the kids were at Awana, Andy watched a movie and I spent the time working on a photo album. We cut it pretty close and I knew that we needed to get going so that we weren't late to pick them up.

I changed clothes, we got outside and into the car when I realized that I needed to get John a shirt. We were planning to go to In n Out to grab dinner, and he doesn't like to wear his Awana shirt out and about (I don't blame him). I exclaimed something about not getting there on time, jumped out of the car, ran back into the house and headed up to the boys' room.

I hadn't actually been in their room all day...I quickly discovered that it was a mess. There were clothes everywhere! (I think there's something in the eleven and twelve year old brain that makes it impossible to use a hamper.)

Still in a hurry, I headed over to John's dresser, looked around on the floor, picked up the first half crumpled shirt that I found and...I sniffed it! Yep, I totally did. It was passable, so I ran out the door and we headed off for the rest of our evening.

As I was thinking about this later, two things really bothered me.

1. That I actually did the Sniff Test. I mean, really...who does that? College guys in 80's movies? Seriously. I have no idea what possessed me to sniff a shirt from the floor when I could have easily opened his third drawer and pulled out a clean shirt.

2. Even more disturbing to me is the fact that I have a child old enough and big enough that I have to do the sniff test. How did this happen? When did John get taller than me? When did he start turning into a man? Where did my baby go??

Sigh. Time. It just keeps on ticking....

A Misunderstanding

Before I tell you about a funny exchange that happened while we were dining at Claim Jumper recently, you need to know two things.

1. Our dear friends raise, then sell bison; you can find them over at Glacier Grown. They're making a run to San Diego later this month and we have been discussing which cuts of meat we'd like to purchase.

2. Due to the many, many ear infections that he had as a toddler, Matthew has permanent hearing loss in both ears. It's especially difficult for him to hear if we're in a noisy place, with lots of background noises.

Now that you are properly informed, I can continue with my story.

The waitress, Lori, came over to take our drink orders...

Lori (to me): "What would you like to drink today?"

Me: "A Lemon Drop and a glass of water, please."

Lori (to John): "How about you?"

John: "Barq's Root Beer, please." (He always orders root beer using it's brand name.)

Lori (to Matt): "And for you?"

Matt: "Dr. Pepper, please."

At this point, Matt dropped something and leaned down under the table to pick it up while Lori was talking to Andy....

Lori (to Andy): "And how about you, sir? What are you drinking today?"

Andy: "I'll have the Hefeweizen."

Lori thanked us all, and walked away.

At this point, Matt pops back up into his seat, looks at Andy with big eyes, and says, "We're going to buy HALF A BISON????"

1984

Good morning, everyone.
(At least it will be once I get this cup of coffee in me!)

Today we find ourselves heading back in time, to the totally rad year of 1984. I have a couple of pictures for your consideration.

Here we see quality leadership in action. My parents have taken some of the kids from their Sunday School class to the zoo. (I have no idea why....contest winners, illustrations on creation, who knows.)

I would like you to note the following:

- My dad's large belt buckle and the pen in his pocket. (You never know when you might need a pen.)
- Most of us are dressed in summer attire, but there is one who is wearing long pants, and long-sleeved collared shirt and a sweater. Did she get a memo that we didn't?
- You can't see much of me, but if you look closely you will note that my pink knee socks are pulled up all the way. Way to go, Michelle!
- Both of the boys have on nifty striped socks (again, pulled up all the way) and sweet, two-strapped velcro shoes.
- There are two pairs of jelly shoes; one with jeans and socks, the other with shorts and no socks. Whichever look you prefer, we've got you covered.
- The vest. OH the vest. With the sweater-looking tank top under it. The vest.

You've gotta love fashion in the 80's!

1984 was a big year for me. My dad was not at all happy with this decision, but once he made his feelings clear, he left it up to me and my mom.
In 1984, I went from this:

To this:

I was thrilled. He wasn't.
Yes, that is a crocheted cat in my lap in the before picture.
No, my eyes aren't green, for those of you who are very observant. It's just the coloring in the picture.

Lastly (I really need to start cleaning my house), I have a quick picture from Halloween.

Who am I? Oh, come on, isn't it obvious? I'm Julie, a resistance fighter, from the tv show "V". (Hence, the big V on my sweater.) Alas, there is no Donovan with me, just a cowboy-with-a-mask and his little brother.

That's all I've got for today. Thanks for joining me. See you in '85!

Tutelage

To the gentleman in the light brown shirt who was standing in the Art History section of Borders at approximately 8pm last night...

Dear Sir,

Friday evenings are wonderful, are they not? It is the perfect time to head on over to your local Borders and browse; possibly even enjoy a cup of coffee or some live entertainment. I must ask, however, that next time you are there, you refrain from passing gas.

Imagine my surprise when, as I sat there quietly reading my book, I heard a loud toot coming from my left. Clearly it was you, there was no one else standing there. I actually found it amusing; I mean everyone experiences flatulence from time to time. I assumed at that point that it was an accident and that it would not be repeated. How wrong I was!

While once could be passed off (no pun intended) as an accidental slip, after you broke wind the second time I was not inwardly laughing anymore. Really, sir, there's a restroom just a short walk away. Take the walk.

I was thoroughly disgusted by the time you backfired the third time. Mercifully, it was time for me to leave so I am not aware if you dropped a fourth, or even worse, a fifth stink bomb.

Please, sir, next time you're planning on spending evening at Borders, for the enjoyment of others, secure your rear. We'd all greatly appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Missy Shell