My Choice

November is almost done?  Really?  Actually, I can't decide whether I think it flew by or crept along forever.  Regardless, the calendar tells me that today is the last day of the month and therefore the end of another NaBloPoMo journey.

I began the month by sharing that one of my goals was (and still is) to become a more thankful person and to that end, I had purchased a little decorative reminder.  I wondered at the time if it would really work or not.  Now that the month is over, I can assure you that it has indeed been a help to me.  Each and every time I walk up our stairs, I see it and am reminded that I really do have so many things to be thankful for.  As I reflect back on all the happenings of the last thirty days, I can truly say that it has been a good month.  Matthew has stepped out of his comfort zone and done some great things, Andy and I have had some great time together and have become even closer, there has been a boatload of family time, and John was able to come home for Thanksgiving.  All wonderful things! 

Unfortunately, the mini-disaster with the house has really thrown me for a loop; it has threatened to overwhelm me.  For the last few days as I've looked at my "thankful" sign, I've fought discouragement and rather grudgingly uttered a few words of gratitude for something or another.  I don't know what we're going to do or where the road ahead is going to lead, and I really don't like the uncertainty.  Routine and planning...those are the things that I embrace; I don't do well with the unexpected and unknown. 

Today, however, as I was getting out the Christmas decorations, I saw the other little banner that I purchased last month.  When I was standing at a craft fair a month ago, I had no idea what we were going to be dealing with or that I would need another reminder after I had taken the fall decorations down.  Thankfully, the Lord knew.  I could have purchased any number of other banners with various other holiday sayings, but I truly believe that I was led to this one.

No matter where this road leads or how long it takes, I will continue to work on my thankfulness.  I'm not saying that there won't be any discouraging moments or tears; in fact, I'm sure that they are likely to pop up every now and then.  You might even have to give me a nudge in the right direction. 

But I will not be overcome. 
I will choose joy. 

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13

2006

My friend asked for a lot of pictures...

We started off the year with a trip to Colorado.  It was the first time the boys had been in snow, so a family snowball
fight seemed in order.  No idea who took the picture since the four of us are out there.  Jaime, probably. 

"Randy lay there like a slug; it was his only defense."

Snow angles with Jenna!  Man, it was cold.

Everyone went sledding, but only three of us used a sled.

When both kids have the flu and you just got new carpeting, you throw their mattress on the tile in the entry way!

Matthew did gymnastics for about 18 months; I'm no expert but I thought he was pretty great.

I'd let him wash my car.  (It was a church fund raiser of sorts.)

My Youngling battling Darth Maul.

We had some fun in the desert thanks to our wonderful friends!

Those same friends had a boat, so we played at the river, too!

It's always a blast when family comes to town.

One should never let one's husband near the camera when one is in a bathing suit.

One of them clearly has his father's coloring while the other takes after his mom.

Doesn't everyone have a picture beside a giant artichoke?

Matthew made a friend at Magic Mountain.

Excellent form.

When you don't like cake, you get birthday cookies!

Love.

More love.

I didn't know that someone had taken this picture. 
That's my arm wrapped around Matthew as we're waiting for my grandmother's funeral to begin.

We were actually at Disneyland when we got the call that I needed to get back, my grandma wasn't going to
be with us much longer.  We flew home (seriously, I've never driven so fast in my life) and I made it to
Grandma's with about a half hour to spare.  Then she was gone.
We decided to go back to Disneyland a week later, partly to finish the day that we'd begun,
but also because I just needed to get away.  It was a good day.

Ten on Thursday

If you're especially perceptive, you might notice that I didn't do a Ten on Tuesday list this week; I had something more pressing on my mind initially and then things fell apart at home.  This is both the most joyous Thanksgiving that I've had in years as well as the most stressful and fearful.  While I was working in the kitchen a few minutes ago, I started to freak out again, so I quickly started listing the things that I am most thankful for today.  So, even though it's a Thursday, you get a list.  I'd better type quickly...I've got pies in the oven!

(As usual, these aren't in a particular order.)

1.  Andy.  It cannot be said often enough or loud enough how much he means to me.  He's truly been my rock in the last 48 hours and I can't imagine where I would be without him.  I'm a lucky girl.

2.  All of my people in one room.  When you have a child who no longer lives with you, this becomes extremely meaningful.  I'm so glad that John was able to come home, even if it's only for three days.

3.  My folks.  I'm so blessed to be spending another holiday season with them.  You never know how long you have; one must treasure every day!

4.  Thanksgiving x 2.  We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Andy's side of the family today, we get to do it all over again with my family tomorrow.  Twice the fun!  I'm so glad that we do it this way.

5.  Hot water.  We currently don't have any hot water in our house.  It's made me appreciate it all the more and I hope it won't be too long until we get it back.  Perhaps within a week or so.

6.  God's Provision.  The whole hot water situation has us in quite a bind and is the cause of the stress and fear that I mentioned earlier, but I am thankful that God has always provided for us before, and I am trusting that He will do it again. 

7.  Christmas socks.  I dug them out yesterday...I love them.

8.  Reminders from loved ones.  I've felt so loved and supported by those closest to me these last two days; I've been blessed with some really beautiful people in my live.  I don't take any of them for granted.  I want to hug all of them. 

9.  My church and my church family.  They are becoming more and more dear to us with each passing week. 

10.  My mother-in-law.  If you know her, you know how amazing she is.  She is kind and selfless and wise and a blessing to everyone around her.  If I let my guard down, which is admittedly hard for me to do, there's always something that I can learn from her.  The mister and I were at CVS late last night and someone there made a joke about needing to come and get some wine because their mother-in-law was coming to visit and that was the only way that they'd be able to deal with it.  I know that a lot of people really do feel that way; I'm so thankful for Andy's family.   

 Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Healing For My Heart

Life is throwing us some pretty big curves right now. 
We honestly don't know how we're going to handle everything.
But for right now, for just this moment....

I am so very thankful.

Marriage

Before I even complete one sentence, I want to make it abundantly clear that my marriage is wonderful and that the mister and I are quite happy.  Please, don’t anybody worry.  For my part at least, I love Andy more than I ever would have dreamed possible in 1995.  

That being said, it occurred to us this week at we are only about eight weeks away from our 19^th anniversary and once that passes, all of the 20^th milestones will be upon us.  First date, first kiss, first this or that…this spring it will be 20 years!  While we truly are madly in love, we stopped for a while and discussed how much time has passed and how easy it is to get complacent in our relationship.  

The reason that all of this came to mind is actually a sad one.  We know a couple who has been planning on getting divorced, but this week everything became official; documents were signed and Andy actually had to be the legal witness to a few things.  They’re doing the best that they can under the circumstances, but there are children involved and it’s undoubtedly hard on them.  

As Andy and I hugged each other and chatted, my initial reaction was to say, “Don’t worry, that won’t ever happen to us.”  As soon as those words escaped my lips, I realized just how foolish they were.  We know so many people, and I’m sure you do too, who thought that it would never happen to them.  And it did.  So I think the worst thing that we can do is to bury our heads in the sand and say, “Oh, that will never be me.”

I doubt that something like that would come up quickly; it’s probably a slow progression.  It’s very easy to get busy with your own life, your job, and your hobbies.  If you happen to have children, you know how crazy that gets and sometimes just keeping up with them, their activities, and their needs takes every ounce of energy that you have.  You don’t always have a lot left to give your partner.  At the end of the day, it’s easy to just rest in the knowledge that he or she will always be there and not give that relationship the care and attention that you give other relationships.  We were watching a TV show last night and there was a couple that was talking about how so many years had gone by and they were worried that there weren’t any “firsts” left in their relationship; they were struggling to find newness.  

So in light of the length of time that Andy and I have been together, the place that our friends find themselves, and a TV show that caused us to reflect, we have made a couple of specific choices this week in an attempt to not take each other for granted.  We aren’t roommates; we are first and foremost husband and wife.  Without that foundation, we wouldn’t have the children, the home, or the lives that we enjoy right now.  So we will work daily to preserve and treasure that.  If you are married, whether it’s been for one week or fifty years, I would encourage you to examine your relationship and do the same.  Your choices, your action items, won’t be the same as ours, nor should they be.  But please, do what it takes to fight for your relationship.  Don’t become complacent.  Don’t become a habit.  Don’t give the enemy a foothold or a chance to come between what the Lord has so richly blessed you with.

68 More Hours

For Derry and Kali and Gabe and Mia
and John and Matthew and everyone else
who might want something sweet on Thursday...

I'll be ready.

Conflicting Neurosis

This is the one week (well, five days, really) of the year where my crazies don’t align.  
 

First and foremost is my (probably) obsessive need to have things neat, tidy and orderly.  I don’t do clutter in any way, shape or form; if I’m in a cluttered place, even out in public, I cannot relax and I always feel a little bit on edge.  The result is that in my home, everything has a place and rarely will you find anything messy or out of sorts.  Upon seeing my dirty clothes hamper, my niece once exclaimed, “Even Aunt Michelle’s dirty laundry is organized!”  It’s true.  In addition to my aversion to physical clutter, I’m also opposed to any kind of mental clutter and one of my ways of eliminating that is to have rules and procedures for pretty much everything.  Things must match, things must coordinate, and there must be a reason for practically everything.  

The other thing that I’m extremely particular about is my adherence to holiday traditions.  I suppose it’s an extension of my need for order, but there is a prescribed time for most holiday things, including (especially) the putting up of decorations.  With regards to the outdoor Christmas decorations specifically, it’s very important to me that they are up and running on Thanksgiving night.  After eating myself silly for the day and having my aunt’s amazing potato casserole for desert (seriously, I’ll skip the pie for it), I want my outdoors to be wonderfully Christmassy as we pull into the driveway.  This isn’t a problem for the decorations out front; we always put them up early on Thanksgiving morning before we head out and thanks to timers, they’re on when we return.  The back poses a bit of a problem though.  We don’t have time to get everything up out there on Thanksgiving morning, so in order for it to be ready to go that evening; it must be put up earlier.  I need Andy’s help and since it gets dark early now, we can’t do it on a weeknight after work, so the Sunday before Thanksgiving (today) is always the day to decorate the back.  I promise that I don’t turn anything on yet; we won’t enjoy them until Thursday night.  But they had to go up today.

The problem is that this messes with my aforementioned sense of order.  Out front and all throughout my house, it’s fall and orange and leafy and festive.  But then as I sit on the couch enjoying the Thanksgiving themed inside, I see Christmas stuff out back.  It messes with my orderly brain.  One shouldn’t be viewing two seasons at once!

I think that I’m just going to keep the back blinds closed for the next 96 hours.  If I don’t see Christmas, I can pretend that it isn’t out there just yet!